We had small class the other night and the instructor had us choose our own postures throughout the class. The one hitch, she'd say -- standing hip opener -- choose anyone...standing twist...inversion...shoulder opener...
We had to come up with what posture within that category we wanted to do. It was amazing how it froze most of the class. I do a lot of yoga on my own, so I was comfortable moving through a variety of options. I might not know the names of all the them, or every benefit each might have, but I know enough hip openers, twists, etc -- to select a number of options.
It made me realize how far I've come.
I played someone in squash the other day and they were having some issues with their back. They asked me for a few yoga suggesstions. I started him with something very simple, child's pose.
He was so tight, he couldn't get into the posture. His legs and torso just wouldn't settle down. I don't think I was ever quite that tight, but my body has changed a lot since I began practicing. Seeing him struggle made me realize how far I've come. And yet, I've got a long way to go with some of the very basics. Still it's nice to see the progress.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
New teachers...
Although I take yoga at a gym, this club has assembled and excellent collection of teachers. How do I know?
When I've attended classes at Omega, Kripala, or Easalen, I've never felt out of sorts. I felt prepared, as if I've had a solid grounding in a variety of different types. That's a tribute to my teachers here.
Having said that, I love experiecing new classes from new teachers. Yesterday we had a substitute at the club. It was interesting how different this instructor was.
Yoga is infinite. There are many ways to go at it. Breaking habits and experiencing the unfamiliar is all part of the process.
When I've attended classes at Omega, Kripala, or Easalen, I've never felt out of sorts. I felt prepared, as if I've had a solid grounding in a variety of different types. That's a tribute to my teachers here.
Having said that, I love experiecing new classes from new teachers. Yesterday we had a substitute at the club. It was interesting how different this instructor was.
Yoga is infinite. There are many ways to go at it. Breaking habits and experiencing the unfamiliar is all part of the process.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
The blurred line between fact and fiction
Some might not realize that I co-author this blog with Chuck Morgan, the protagonist of my novel – My Year as a Clown. I asked Chuck to do this with me as way to get to know his world better and to understand how he thinks. It also gives me the freedom to push the limits of a variety of subjects because Chuck lives in a much more dynamic world than I do.
“That’s not true,” he said to me.
Chuck is upset that folks might mistake my writing for his, that some would confuse what happens to me with his world.
“At the Fairview Club in Putnam’s Landing,” he had said, “we never have conflicts. We all get along. We know better than to discuss politics and religion.”
That maybe true, I had said to him, but it’s no secret that there have been several clashes on the squash court at Fairview. You can hear shouting on the court a lot; once the club manager had to break up a fight. Certain players carry grudges. Some refuse to play others. They might smile sweetly, but there’s lots of talk behind the back.
“We have the good sense not to confront members with our issues,” Chuck said. “If I’ve got a problem with someone, I’m certainly not going to say anything to him.”
“But you’ll talk to others at the club.”
“I might,” he admitted. “But they have the good sense to keep their mouth shut.”
“That’s nonsense,” I replied. “Everyone there knows who dislikes whom.”
“Just do me a favor,” Chuck said.
“What?”
“Let me do this blog. You keep out of it.”
“I can’t do that,” I told him. “We have to do it together. This blog is part you, part me. Some of it might be true, some might not. That’s the beauty of fiction. We aren’t shackled by the facts. That’s why I didn’t write Clown as a memoir.”
“That’s your stupidity,” he said. “Everyone knows you could have sold that book last year if you had called it a memoir.”
“But then I would have had to stick to the facts. It wouldn’t have given me the flexibility to explode situations to make a point. The book wouldn’t be nearly as good. This blog wouldn’t be as interesting either.”
“Good, schmood,” he said. “It’s about making money. If you’d had any guts, you could have made it all up and still called it a memoir”
Thanks, Chuck, I’ll give that some thought the next time I’m on the mat…
“That’s not true,” he said to me.
Chuck is upset that folks might mistake my writing for his, that some would confuse what happens to me with his world.
“At the Fairview Club in Putnam’s Landing,” he had said, “we never have conflicts. We all get along. We know better than to discuss politics and religion.”
That maybe true, I had said to him, but it’s no secret that there have been several clashes on the squash court at Fairview. You can hear shouting on the court a lot; once the club manager had to break up a fight. Certain players carry grudges. Some refuse to play others. They might smile sweetly, but there’s lots of talk behind the back.
“We have the good sense not to confront members with our issues,” Chuck said. “If I’ve got a problem with someone, I’m certainly not going to say anything to him.”
“But you’ll talk to others at the club.”
“I might,” he admitted. “But they have the good sense to keep their mouth shut.”
“That’s nonsense,” I replied. “Everyone there knows who dislikes whom.”
“Just do me a favor,” Chuck said.
“What?”
“Let me do this blog. You keep out of it.”
“I can’t do that,” I told him. “We have to do it together. This blog is part you, part me. Some of it might be true, some might not. That’s the beauty of fiction. We aren’t shackled by the facts. That’s why I didn’t write Clown as a memoir.”
“That’s your stupidity,” he said. “Everyone knows you could have sold that book last year if you had called it a memoir.”
“But then I would have had to stick to the facts. It wouldn’t have given me the flexibility to explode situations to make a point. The book wouldn’t be nearly as good. This blog wouldn’t be as interesting either.”
“Good, schmood,” he said. “It’s about making money. If you’d had any guts, you could have made it all up and still called it a memoir”
Thanks, Chuck, I’ll give that some thought the next time I’m on the mat…
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Where there’s smoke there’s fire…
Several squash players at the club read this blog and got upset over what I’d written.
I was amazed. I didn’t think anyone other than my mother had read it. I haven’t pushed On the Mat even though it’s on the web for anyone to read. You have to work to find it. I don’t post regularly. I write it for myself.
That posting was mostly about me and how when the competitive juices start flowing, I can unravel. Many athletes have this challenge – look at Jeremy Shockey.
But he’s a professional. I play squash for fun, and the match referenced in that posting wasn’t.
I’d spoken directly with that player immediately after the game. He apologized and said that he meant that comment as a complement. He’s a nice guy, but he’s got a temper on the court; and what was most unnerving about it, was that I saw myself in his anger. That was what my last posting was all about.
The story of what transpired during that match took on a whole new dimension at the club: what I said, what he said. It’s not worth trying to set the record straight here.
The point of the posting was the fact that I needed to address how I react under pressure during competition. Now the question is: how do I react now that a bunch of guys at the squash club are up in arms?
My knee-jerk reaction is to drop out of the ladder. But it might be good to stay on. I desperately need the exercise and now that I’ve worked my way up to the 2nd group, I’ll get challenging games. Most I’ll probably lose, and that’s okay. I need the cardio and the practice of being put under pressure. This isn’t meant to be disrespectful to players in group 3 and 4, but for the most part, there’s a huge gap between two and three.
The same can be said at the top of the ladder. There are 3 or 4 guys so good; I rarely can win a game off of them, let alone a match.
But I am sorry for the guy that I played, because it appears as if I’ve singled him out here. That wasn’t my intention, and I will apologize. I truly never thought anyone from the club read this. My guess is, most haven’t, but that won’t prevent them from having an opinion about it. Besides, Chuck Morgan helps me write this and often we take his experience and blend it -- that was the whole purpose of the two blogs on blogger.com -- to push the envelope,blur fact and fiction. Sometimes that edge cuts; in this case, it cut both ways...
I guess that’s the way these things work…
I was amazed. I didn’t think anyone other than my mother had read it. I haven’t pushed On the Mat even though it’s on the web for anyone to read. You have to work to find it. I don’t post regularly. I write it for myself.
That posting was mostly about me and how when the competitive juices start flowing, I can unravel. Many athletes have this challenge – look at Jeremy Shockey.
But he’s a professional. I play squash for fun, and the match referenced in that posting wasn’t.
I’d spoken directly with that player immediately after the game. He apologized and said that he meant that comment as a complement. He’s a nice guy, but he’s got a temper on the court; and what was most unnerving about it, was that I saw myself in his anger. That was what my last posting was all about.
The story of what transpired during that match took on a whole new dimension at the club: what I said, what he said. It’s not worth trying to set the record straight here.
The point of the posting was the fact that I needed to address how I react under pressure during competition. Now the question is: how do I react now that a bunch of guys at the squash club are up in arms?
My knee-jerk reaction is to drop out of the ladder. But it might be good to stay on. I desperately need the exercise and now that I’ve worked my way up to the 2nd group, I’ll get challenging games. Most I’ll probably lose, and that’s okay. I need the cardio and the practice of being put under pressure. This isn’t meant to be disrespectful to players in group 3 and 4, but for the most part, there’s a huge gap between two and three.
The same can be said at the top of the ladder. There are 3 or 4 guys so good; I rarely can win a game off of them, let alone a match.
But I am sorry for the guy that I played, because it appears as if I’ve singled him out here. That wasn’t my intention, and I will apologize. I truly never thought anyone from the club read this. My guess is, most haven’t, but that won’t prevent them from having an opinion about it. Besides, Chuck Morgan helps me write this and often we take his experience and blend it -- that was the whole purpose of the two blogs on blogger.com -- to push the envelope,blur fact and fiction. Sometimes that edge cuts; in this case, it cut both ways...
I guess that’s the way these things work…
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Competition brings out the best and worst in me...
I've returned to playing squash competitively.
I'm on a ladder at the club where I do yoga. At one point I was one of the top ten players in the area. I was injured and have only just returned to action. I'm working my way back up. I normally played in the first and second groups. I started this year in group four and killed everyone. The same is happening this month in group three.
I'm trying to not squash folks in this bracket. Most of these players don't have good technique, but some are fit and try to make up for it by running wild about the court and hitting the ball as hard as possible. I try to keep it in play so that the game doesn't end too fast.
Today a young man beat me in the first game 9-6. He chased everything down. He hit very hard. I didn't want to push myself early. I was learning his game and would make adjustments so that I could win but not expose myself to his wide swing (lots of folks get hit hard by wide swingers).
As we were about to start the 2nd game he said, "I was told to be scared of you. I thought it would be great just to get a few points. Now that I've taken one game off you, I want more."
There was a glint in his eyes, and he was licking his chops.
I was taken back by the comment. I forgot about how competitive it can get on the ladder.
I started to steam and proceeded to pound him 9-1. I took the next one 9-2.
In the fourth I let up. To his credit he kept fighting, but also, he was cursing every time he made a bad shot. He threw his racket several times too. He was having trouble because I was controlling the points and forcing him into errors.
I just wanted the match to end so I could get off the court and go into yoga. His vibe really bummed me out.
I'm thinking about dropping off the ladder now. But maybe I need to confront this head on. Part of what disturb me today was the fact that his actions affected me so. I was angry at his comments. I should have just let it all flow through me.
I didn't play my best squash today. I let someone drag me down to their level and that's never a good idea. I wonder how yoga can help...
I'm on a ladder at the club where I do yoga. At one point I was one of the top ten players in the area. I was injured and have only just returned to action. I'm working my way back up. I normally played in the first and second groups. I started this year in group four and killed everyone. The same is happening this month in group three.
I'm trying to not squash folks in this bracket. Most of these players don't have good technique, but some are fit and try to make up for it by running wild about the court and hitting the ball as hard as possible. I try to keep it in play so that the game doesn't end too fast.
Today a young man beat me in the first game 9-6. He chased everything down. He hit very hard. I didn't want to push myself early. I was learning his game and would make adjustments so that I could win but not expose myself to his wide swing (lots of folks get hit hard by wide swingers).
As we were about to start the 2nd game he said, "I was told to be scared of you. I thought it would be great just to get a few points. Now that I've taken one game off you, I want more."
There was a glint in his eyes, and he was licking his chops.
I was taken back by the comment. I forgot about how competitive it can get on the ladder.
I started to steam and proceeded to pound him 9-1. I took the next one 9-2.
In the fourth I let up. To his credit he kept fighting, but also, he was cursing every time he made a bad shot. He threw his racket several times too. He was having trouble because I was controlling the points and forcing him into errors.
I just wanted the match to end so I could get off the court and go into yoga. His vibe really bummed me out.
I'm thinking about dropping off the ladder now. But maybe I need to confront this head on. Part of what disturb me today was the fact that his actions affected me so. I was angry at his comments. I should have just let it all flow through me.
I didn't play my best squash today. I let someone drag me down to their level and that's never a good idea. I wonder how yoga can help...
Friday, November 03, 2006
Keep the mouse in the barn...
I've been sick this week, but I've managed a little yoga.
Today was my first class in awhile. I was focused inward, my mind was quiet, I had a great session and hardly noticed anyone around me.
At the end of class, the instructor said, there's no easy way to say this, but for the gentlemen in the room (of which there were three), please keep the mouse in the barn.
There was a murmur across the studio floor, I hadn't heard what she said, and I guess others hadn't either, because she repeated it.
There was silence and folks started rolling up their mats. I had no idea what she said, but I knew there was a one in three chance she was talking to me. Had I checked out some girls boobs inadvertently, had I farted, or did I have excessive BO? I didn't know.
In the hall I asked a friend of mine, a woman in her early sixties. She laughed. "The guy across the way," she said, "his balls were hanging out when we were in shoulder stand."
The mouse in the barn.
I was just relieved it had nothing to do with me.
Today was my first class in awhile. I was focused inward, my mind was quiet, I had a great session and hardly noticed anyone around me.
At the end of class, the instructor said, there's no easy way to say this, but for the gentlemen in the room (of which there were three), please keep the mouse in the barn.
There was a murmur across the studio floor, I hadn't heard what she said, and I guess others hadn't either, because she repeated it.
There was silence and folks started rolling up their mats. I had no idea what she said, but I knew there was a one in three chance she was talking to me. Had I checked out some girls boobs inadvertently, had I farted, or did I have excessive BO? I didn't know.
In the hall I asked a friend of mine, a woman in her early sixties. She laughed. "The guy across the way," she said, "his balls were hanging out when we were in shoulder stand."
The mouse in the barn.
I was just relieved it had nothing to do with me.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Injured
Last year I hurt my back. My inexperience with yoga, pushing too hard in class, was a contributing factor. Monday I tweaked it again carrying my cats to the vet, then I went straight on to the squash court. One is suppossed to live and learn, I do mostly living.
But now I'm using yoga to restore my back. I'm doing passive postures, allowing my body to release with the use of gravity. I'm not taking classes.
Listening to my body is a key component to a successful practice -- all too often I hear my body talking but don't understand what it's saying.
Aches and pains, tension, tightness, it's the body's means of communication. Understanding this language is a part of yoga, it's something I need to spend more time learning. This injury presents an excellent opportunity to make some progress. When the body is screaming for attention, it's alot easier to hear what its saying.
But now I'm using yoga to restore my back. I'm doing passive postures, allowing my body to release with the use of gravity. I'm not taking classes.
Listening to my body is a key component to a successful practice -- all too often I hear my body talking but don't understand what it's saying.
Aches and pains, tension, tightness, it's the body's means of communication. Understanding this language is a part of yoga, it's something I need to spend more time learning. This injury presents an excellent opportunity to make some progress. When the body is screaming for attention, it's alot easier to hear what its saying.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Yielding....
I completed my first week of classes...
I feel grounded, relaxed, focused.
This week one of my instructors talked of yielding -- of allowing gravity to do its work. To trust the ground to carry your weight. Often in standing positions my feet grab, the ankles tense up, the toes arch. Yielding takes the activity out of the muscles, but it's not a slouch either -- there's alignment, posture, breath, most important, there's the presence, the awareness of being in that moment of stillness.
Too often I'm tight, or thinking about where I'm going after class.
This week I found a brief respite of quiet, I rediscovered my mat.
I feel grounded, relaxed, focused.
This week one of my instructors talked of yielding -- of allowing gravity to do its work. To trust the ground to carry your weight. Often in standing positions my feet grab, the ankles tense up, the toes arch. Yielding takes the activity out of the muscles, but it's not a slouch either -- there's alignment, posture, breath, most important, there's the presence, the awareness of being in that moment of stillness.
Too often I'm tight, or thinking about where I'm going after class.
This week I found a brief respite of quiet, I rediscovered my mat.
Monday, September 25, 2006
tired and weak, but...
I'm back home and took a class this morning, my first in 8 days.
I paid for missing classes last week -- my shoulders were screaming in downward dog, my legs ached and arms sagged in warrior 1 and 2; let's not talk about 3. Yikes.
But by the end of class, my body began to respond the way I recall it doing ages ago -- at a time when I was taking classes daily.
That seems like such a long time ago -- and it was -- mid-July.
I have no excuses for my lack of consistency. I managed what I could, and now that I'm back, I'll find my way to the mat as much as possible.
A daily practice takes many forms -- yoga is not just a physical experience. having compassion for myself is one way I know I'm getting stronger...
maybe this time off is an important part of my journey.
I paid for missing classes last week -- my shoulders were screaming in downward dog, my legs ached and arms sagged in warrior 1 and 2; let's not talk about 3. Yikes.
But by the end of class, my body began to respond the way I recall it doing ages ago -- at a time when I was taking classes daily.
That seems like such a long time ago -- and it was -- mid-July.
I have no excuses for my lack of consistency. I managed what I could, and now that I'm back, I'll find my way to the mat as much as possible.
A daily practice takes many forms -- yoga is not just a physical experience. having compassion for myself is one way I know I'm getting stronger...
maybe this time off is an important part of my journey.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
no mat - no class
but my spirit and focus is strong...
hotel room yoga, finding space between two beds for downward dog -- a spinal twist in a desk chair, a forward bend in the shower -- it hasn't been an ideal yoga week here in North Carolina -- i've made three failed attempts to hit a class, but tonight I am determined to make the 5:45 session at Triangle Yoga, just north of the UNC campus.
while i write pool side, i breathe, i sit up straight in my chair, i gently turn right, i turn left. I rotate shoulders up, down, i shake my head yes and no...
i'll be home soon and back into a routine -- in the meantime my intent is to keep focus despite the lack of a consistent 90 minute physical practice...
A friend sent this the other day:
Main Entry: yogue
Pronunciation: 'yOgFunction: verbEtymology: Sanskrit/Middle French hybrid. Sanskrit, literally, yoking, from yunakti he yokes. French -gue verb form
1 archaic : to dance in a primitive, tribal style2 a : to participate in the practice of yoga: b : to maintain a steadying of the fluctuations of the mind3 : to socialize in a strenuous fashion
- yo·gic /-gik/ adjective, often capitalized
hotel room yoga, finding space between two beds for downward dog -- a spinal twist in a desk chair, a forward bend in the shower -- it hasn't been an ideal yoga week here in North Carolina -- i've made three failed attempts to hit a class, but tonight I am determined to make the 5:45 session at Triangle Yoga, just north of the UNC campus.
while i write pool side, i breathe, i sit up straight in my chair, i gently turn right, i turn left. I rotate shoulders up, down, i shake my head yes and no...
i'll be home soon and back into a routine -- in the meantime my intent is to keep focus despite the lack of a consistent 90 minute physical practice...
A friend sent this the other day:
Main Entry: yogue
Pronunciation: 'yOgFunction: verbEtymology: Sanskrit/Middle French hybrid. Sanskrit, literally, yoking, from yunakti he yokes. French -gue verb form
1 archaic : to dance in a primitive, tribal style2 a : to participate in the practice of yoga: b : to maintain a steadying of the fluctuations of the mind3 : to socialize in a strenuous fashion
- yo·gic /-gik/ adjective, often capitalized
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
voodoo and haiti
I'm off to the poorest country in the western hemisphere, haiti.
The government might be messed up beyond belief, but there's a spirit there that cannot be denied.
I'll be working on a variety of writing projects. Although I won't get much time to work on my physical practice during this trip, I'll have plenty of time to work on the spiritual side. Getting to meet locals and see how various relief programs work down there will be quite enlightening.
and it should put in perspective the petty issues i complain about here in westport, ct...
i'll be back late saturday night -- until then...
namaste
The government might be messed up beyond belief, but there's a spirit there that cannot be denied.
I'll be working on a variety of writing projects. Although I won't get much time to work on my physical practice during this trip, I'll have plenty of time to work on the spiritual side. Getting to meet locals and see how various relief programs work down there will be quite enlightening.
and it should put in perspective the petty issues i complain about here in westport, ct...
i'll be back late saturday night -- until then...
namaste
Sunday, September 03, 2006
back in class
it was great to return to my home base for a couple of yoga classes.
and it was cool to connect with friends i hadn't seen in awhile.
i was surprised actually that folks had noticed i wasn't there. lots of people asked where i'd been and wanted to know what was happening. it felt like home, and that's a nice feeling.
i'm off to haiti on wednesday -- doubt i'll be taking a yoga class there, but i'll do some asannas in my room.
and it was cool to connect with friends i hadn't seen in awhile.
i was surprised actually that folks had noticed i wasn't there. lots of people asked where i'd been and wanted to know what was happening. it felt like home, and that's a nice feeling.
i'm off to haiti on wednesday -- doubt i'll be taking a yoga class there, but i'll do some asannas in my room.
Monday, August 28, 2006
No Mat...
A friend tried to post this the other day...
"Yoga is all about you and your mat..." I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly Bob, had I not this very day attended a studio operated by a great teacher here in Seattle, Katerina at Yogiway. (www.yogiway.com) She has dispensed with mats, and says that she believes we are constrained by the mat. The class had me somewhat disorientated, and there was a tendency to float around the space but I could sense that I was liberated from something. Her entire floor is padded to the depth of a little more than two regular mats. It feels very comfortable and very safe, although you do feel that if another practitioner were to stray in your direction you have no right to exclude them or any artificial boundary to indicate 'your space.' She mops up and sanitizes after every class. I have clung to my mat, and the Ashtanga rug that covers it as representing the place where I do my practice and take care of myself, but after today I wonder if its only real value is as the sponge for my sweat.
"Yoga is all about you and your mat..." I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly Bob, had I not this very day attended a studio operated by a great teacher here in Seattle, Katerina at Yogiway. (www.yogiway.com) She has dispensed with mats, and says that she believes we are constrained by the mat. The class had me somewhat disorientated, and there was a tendency to float around the space but I could sense that I was liberated from something. Her entire floor is padded to the depth of a little more than two regular mats. It feels very comfortable and very safe, although you do feel that if another practitioner were to stray in your direction you have no right to exclude them or any artificial boundary to indicate 'your space.' She mops up and sanitizes after every class. I have clung to my mat, and the Ashtanga rug that covers it as representing the place where I do my practice and take care of myself, but after today I wonder if its only real value is as the sponge for my sweat.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Vermont Mountain Air...
Woke up in Middlebury, Vermont, at the Bread Loaf writers' conference. They've got a yoga class scheduled for 5:30 tomorrow, so I'm on my own until then.
I woke up at 7, the air was cool and crisp, but as the sun came up over the verdant hills, the heat warmed my body. After three sun salutations, off came my sweat shirt. I only did a forty minute routine, but it felt great to be outside.
The air was still, all i could hear was the sound of my breath and heart...
----
Earlier this week I got to take a class with someone I'd met at SummerSongs -- it was great to share a class with her. I think it inspired her to seek out more once she gets home.
Yoga is all about you and your mat, but sometimes it's nice to have someone next to you that you care about... i don't know how real yogis feel about that, but it works for me...
I woke up at 7, the air was cool and crisp, but as the sun came up over the verdant hills, the heat warmed my body. After three sun salutations, off came my sweat shirt. I only did a forty minute routine, but it felt great to be outside.
The air was still, all i could hear was the sound of my breath and heart...
----
Earlier this week I got to take a class with someone I'd met at SummerSongs -- it was great to share a class with her. I think it inspired her to seek out more once she gets home.
Yoga is all about you and your mat, but sometimes it's nice to have someone next to you that you care about... i don't know how real yogis feel about that, but it works for me...
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Drifting from the mat...
Three weeks on the road and my routine is out of whack.
Although I'm not trained as a teacher, I taught yoga at summarizing last week. It's quite challenging to lead a class. I know just enough to get me in trouble, so leading a class could be dangerous, but I've taken close to a thousand classes over the past three years and so I know enough keep the class simple even if it means losing the more experienced.
Several folks were surprised to learn that I wasn't certified, and I must admit, I did enjoy leading these sessions. Although I don't get the work out of taking a class, I get to experience yoga from the other side and when I return to being a student again, I' ll have new insight into the practice.
I'm trying hard to do a little for myself each day, but the pace of being on the road and socializing does hinder this ability.
I'm off to Vermont now where there the occasional class will be offered. I can't wait to take a full session again, to leisurely work through a complete ninety minutes.
Until then, I'll do my best to challenge myself.
Namaste.
rsw
Although I'm not trained as a teacher, I taught yoga at summarizing last week. It's quite challenging to lead a class. I know just enough to get me in trouble, so leading a class could be dangerous, but I've taken close to a thousand classes over the past three years and so I know enough keep the class simple even if it means losing the more experienced.
Several folks were surprised to learn that I wasn't certified, and I must admit, I did enjoy leading these sessions. Although I don't get the work out of taking a class, I get to experience yoga from the other side and when I return to being a student again, I' ll have new insight into the practice.
I'm trying hard to do a little for myself each day, but the pace of being on the road and socializing does hinder this ability.
I'm off to Vermont now where there the occasional class will be offered. I can't wait to take a full session again, to leisurely work through a complete ninety minutes.
Until then, I'll do my best to challenge myself.
Namaste.
rsw
Friday, August 04, 2006
not enough
i'm breathing but not doing enough yoga -- my output has dropped off dramatically since I stopped taking classes.
i'm leading sessions at SummerSongs this week, so I'll get in some decent time on the mat...
i need to do better...
i'm leading sessions at SummerSongs this week, so I'll get in some decent time on the mat...
i need to do better...
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
it's never too hot
but...
and since I dropped out of the yoga club for the month because I'm away so much, it's a struggle to get on my mat this week.
i've had my moments of quiet.
yesterday it was 103 -- i saw two fights -- one at the stop and shop -- a woman and man were in line at the check out screaming at one another. A customer was in line at the post office yelling at the clerk, or was it the other way around.
the heat adds pressure, but yoga, even just breathing, can cool things down...
so even when I'm not on the mat, I'm there...
and since I dropped out of the yoga club for the month because I'm away so much, it's a struggle to get on my mat this week.
i've had my moments of quiet.
yesterday it was 103 -- i saw two fights -- one at the stop and shop -- a woman and man were in line at the check out screaming at one another. A customer was in line at the post office yelling at the clerk, or was it the other way around.
the heat adds pressure, but yoga, even just breathing, can cool things down...
so even when I'm not on the mat, I'm there...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
yoga excursion
Took a class last night at the Sewannee Community Center with about ten others from the writers' conference (only women from the conference came). But the teacher was a guy and he was very experienced -- had taught for forty years, and he had the confidence to push the class, but many thought he pushed too hard, and I agree.
Perhaps he was just thrilled to have a roomful of new students (some quite advanced), but he had us in positions like head stand, and most teachers would never go there with a class full of new students.
He instructed us to keep our eyes shut for most postures to allow us to focus inward, and I like that, but he would swing by and assist us, and he pushed the woman next to me too far, and she was upset (rightly so, and she's a yoga instructor).
Yoga is about leaving your ego at the door, but often the biggest ego in the room is the instructor. Yoga has taught me humility, but I still struggle with that because I often think I'm hot shit, the smartest guy in the room.
Even here at Sewannee where virtually everyone has an advanced degree in English, I sometimes feel superior. I work harder than most and I think I know more about the real world. I believe I have more courage to write truth.
Since I have no life outside of my writing at the moment, I probably do work harder than most, but how could I possible know what these people have experienced? How could I know anything about their truths or their ability to capture it in words?
It's clear I have much still to learn.
Perhaps he was just thrilled to have a roomful of new students (some quite advanced), but he had us in positions like head stand, and most teachers would never go there with a class full of new students.
He instructed us to keep our eyes shut for most postures to allow us to focus inward, and I like that, but he would swing by and assist us, and he pushed the woman next to me too far, and she was upset (rightly so, and she's a yoga instructor).
Yoga is about leaving your ego at the door, but often the biggest ego in the room is the instructor. Yoga has taught me humility, but I still struggle with that because I often think I'm hot shit, the smartest guy in the room.
Even here at Sewannee where virtually everyone has an advanced degree in English, I sometimes feel superior. I work harder than most and I think I know more about the real world. I believe I have more courage to write truth.
Since I have no life outside of my writing at the moment, I probably do work harder than most, but how could I possible know what these people have experienced? How could I know anything about their truths or their ability to capture it in words?
It's clear I have much still to learn.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Ego
A Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award author told me at dinner last night that he's been teaching for over twenty-years at workshops like this and he's only come across 3-4 real writers. He said I was number five...
I've been writing full-time for eight years and been rejected hundreds of times. I just completed my third novel and I still don't have an agent, so hearing something like that, was most gratifying.
I have no idea what the implications are, but my ego started strutted it's stuff.
I'm not advanced enough in my practice to contain it, but at some point, I did get a leash on it. Still, it kept me up most of the night, and here I am at 5 am writing (I'm on central time, but this documents on eastern).
Of course when I returned to my room last night, there was a rejection email from the New York Time's Modern Love department -- I'd written a piece based on my new novel -- so no matter how big my ego balloons, there's always something around the corner to burst it.
One day I'll be able to keep that damn thing in a shoe box under the bed...until then I must remember how humbling my first two years of doing yoga were
I've been writing full-time for eight years and been rejected hundreds of times. I just completed my third novel and I still don't have an agent, so hearing something like that, was most gratifying.
I have no idea what the implications are, but my ego started strutted it's stuff.
I'm not advanced enough in my practice to contain it, but at some point, I did get a leash on it. Still, it kept me up most of the night, and here I am at 5 am writing (I'm on central time, but this documents on eastern).
Of course when I returned to my room last night, there was a rejection email from the New York Time's Modern Love department -- I'd written a piece based on my new novel -- so no matter how big my ego balloons, there's always something around the corner to burst it.
One day I'll be able to keep that damn thing in a shoe box under the bed...until then I must remember how humbling my first two years of doing yoga were
Friday, July 21, 2006
The Yoga Snob
I'm at the Sewanee Writers' Conference and those into yoga are finding one another.
Rumor has it there's a class at a community center in town and some of us will try to make that. One woman I met said she's doing it in her room (like me), but she isn't pushing herself, so we might get together, then I found out a woman here wrote a book about going to India and studying with Iyengar, one of the big wigs. It would be the pop music equivalent of studying with Paul McCartney in Liverpool.
i thought that was so cool so I asked her if she'd like to lead a few of us fledglings in a session -- or join us at the community center -- she said she couldn't, that she teaches privately and charges a lot of money for that, the thought of the community center seemed to pain her, but she did offer to be in a room with us, each doing our own thing, with the rule that there'd be no talking...
hey, whatever, but yoga isn't just about excelling in postures, it's about finding calm in yourself, it's about letting go of ego and humility. Maybe i just don't get it because i'm not advanced enough -- but you know what, if I'd had the chance to study with fucking Budha, I'd still be up for a session with the local Sewanee community center because the wisdom of the world might just be underneath a stone in the most backward of locations -- and i'm willing to bet Budha knew that too...
Rumor has it there's a class at a community center in town and some of us will try to make that. One woman I met said she's doing it in her room (like me), but she isn't pushing herself, so we might get together, then I found out a woman here wrote a book about going to India and studying with Iyengar, one of the big wigs. It would be the pop music equivalent of studying with Paul McCartney in Liverpool.
i thought that was so cool so I asked her if she'd like to lead a few of us fledglings in a session -- or join us at the community center -- she said she couldn't, that she teaches privately and charges a lot of money for that, the thought of the community center seemed to pain her, but she did offer to be in a room with us, each doing our own thing, with the rule that there'd be no talking...
hey, whatever, but yoga isn't just about excelling in postures, it's about finding calm in yourself, it's about letting go of ego and humility. Maybe i just don't get it because i'm not advanced enough -- but you know what, if I'd had the chance to study with fucking Budha, I'd still be up for a session with the local Sewanee community center because the wisdom of the world might just be underneath a stone in the most backward of locations -- and i'm willing to bet Budha knew that too...
Monday, July 17, 2006
smoke and in-line at the rental car
no class today, but...
on the plane i did a bit, and then in the very long line at the budget car rental, i did a few poses, mountain to start, concentrating on the breathing...
the guy behind was fuming because the guy behind him was yakking on a cell phone -- giving his secretary an earful over what, who cares --
i did a few deep forward bends, i twisted to the right, and to the left -- the line was taking forever, but it didn't matter because my mind was quiet...
now i'm at the hotel trying to sort out a few things -- it was great to be able to check in early -- even scored a little breakfast in the lounge -- but the lounge reeked of cigarettes -- it's a bar at night, complimentary breakfast in the morning...
smoking is still allowed here in restaurants -- it's quite a shock when you aren't used to it -- man, it stunk...
but the people are nice -- now if they could just get the tobacco lobby to chill...
on the plane i did a bit, and then in the very long line at the budget car rental, i did a few poses, mountain to start, concentrating on the breathing...
the guy behind was fuming because the guy behind him was yakking on a cell phone -- giving his secretary an earful over what, who cares --
i did a few deep forward bends, i twisted to the right, and to the left -- the line was taking forever, but it didn't matter because my mind was quiet...
now i'm at the hotel trying to sort out a few things -- it was great to be able to check in early -- even scored a little breakfast in the lounge -- but the lounge reeked of cigarettes -- it's a bar at night, complimentary breakfast in the morning...
smoking is still allowed here in restaurants -- it's quite a shock when you aren't used to it -- man, it stunk...
but the people are nice -- now if they could just get the tobacco lobby to chill...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
on the road with the mat...
i took my last class today at home...
now the challenge will be to keep the practice up while I'm in Tennesee...
i've got my mat, but there's lots of places you can do yoga, even in the plane, so there really is no excuse...
but it's amazing how many I can come up with
now the challenge will be to keep the practice up while I'm in Tennesee...
i've got my mat, but there's lots of places you can do yoga, even in the plane, so there really is no excuse...
but it's amazing how many I can come up with
Friday, July 14, 2006
the ammachi
The Hugging Saint was in NYC this weekend and I went down for my annual hug.
It's my fourth year, and each trip is a unique experience...
I must confess that I'm a healthy sceptic, but there's no doubt this woman has a prescence that's undeniable. I felt it most today when she and her retinue (posse?) entered the builiding. The place went silent, and there was the jingle of bells, a bit of chanting from her crew, the air suddenly washed over me and and I felt a comfort that made me totally relaxed, as if i was home on a sunday with the paper and fire going...
I have a friend who travels in her inner circle and that's created an interesting window into her operation. Her outreach grows more powerful each year and her ability to help the poor and needy is impressive - how she hugs thousands a day I still don't understand -- she hardly sleeps, she doesn't eat much either --
there's defintely something powerful about her -- what it is, I still don't know, but it's worth seeing for yourself -- she'll be in NY over this weekend and then up to Boston. There's a link on this site to hers ...
I'll write more about my experience this week on my web site...
It's my fourth year, and each trip is a unique experience...
I must confess that I'm a healthy sceptic, but there's no doubt this woman has a prescence that's undeniable. I felt it most today when she and her retinue (posse?) entered the builiding. The place went silent, and there was the jingle of bells, a bit of chanting from her crew, the air suddenly washed over me and and I felt a comfort that made me totally relaxed, as if i was home on a sunday with the paper and fire going...
I have a friend who travels in her inner circle and that's created an interesting window into her operation. Her outreach grows more powerful each year and her ability to help the poor and needy is impressive - how she hugs thousands a day I still don't understand -- she hardly sleeps, she doesn't eat much either --
there's defintely something powerful about her -- what it is, I still don't know, but it's worth seeing for yourself -- she'll be in NY over this weekend and then up to Boston. There's a link on this site to hers ...
I'll write more about my experience this week on my web site...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
competition -- does winning matter?
Since I started doing yoga I haven't had as much hunger to win -- I'm playing tennis and squash and I love the dance of a good point, i like the focus and demands on my stamina -- but I don't have that killer instinct required to win...
it doesn't really matter when you're just out there having fun, but as you progress in a competitive sport, the intensity ratchets up -- winning requires a take no prisoners attitude -- you can't get rattled by unsportsmanship either -- the world cup head butting is a great example -- at that level -- you can not allow the opposition to get in your head like that -- it is unprofessional --yes, he could have really hurt that guy, but what he ended up doing was hurting his team because he lost his focus, his cool, he allowed that guy to get into his head --
professional athletes are constantly looking for any advantage they can get -- if taunting works, and it's allowed in the rules, it's fair game...
i used to thrive in that environment and I still enjoy a good battle now and then, but my struggle now is an internal fight, it doesn't matter what anyone else is doing -- on the mat is all that matters to me anymore...
it doesn't really matter when you're just out there having fun, but as you progress in a competitive sport, the intensity ratchets up -- winning requires a take no prisoners attitude -- you can't get rattled by unsportsmanship either -- the world cup head butting is a great example -- at that level -- you can not allow the opposition to get in your head like that -- it is unprofessional --yes, he could have really hurt that guy, but what he ended up doing was hurting his team because he lost his focus, his cool, he allowed that guy to get into his head --
professional athletes are constantly looking for any advantage they can get -- if taunting works, and it's allowed in the rules, it's fair game...
i used to thrive in that environment and I still enjoy a good battle now and then, but my struggle now is an internal fight, it doesn't matter what anyone else is doing -- on the mat is all that matters to me anymore...
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
wednesday rain
i'm not sure this summer is ever going to dry out, and this humidity does cause me to sweat more and that makes the mat slippery.
but that forces me to focus more -- to keep my mind quiet and alert, to make sure my breathing is consistent, my alignment in order, my grounding solid...
too often i'm somewhere else when i'm on my mat, but when it's slip and slide, i can't afford to drift out of the room, i must stay in the moment, be present...
and ultimately, that's much of what yoga is suppossed to do for you...
so let it rain...
but that forces me to focus more -- to keep my mind quiet and alert, to make sure my breathing is consistent, my alignment in order, my grounding solid...
too often i'm somewhere else when i'm on my mat, but when it's slip and slide, i can't afford to drift out of the room, i must stay in the moment, be present...
and ultimately, that's much of what yoga is suppossed to do for you...
so let it rain...
Monday, July 10, 2006
Two classes today
I ended going to an evening class with a friend i hadn't seen in awhile.
I'd already done a morning session and rode my bike so i used this evening as a restorative class.
i focused on breathing and relaxing -- i had a busy day -- submitting two short stories to my editor -- the stories are going to West Magazine -- which is overseen by Amy Tan -- so it's a pretty big deal for me to get these right...
anyway -- class this evening was good
the instructor has come along way from the first classes she taught over a year ago -- she's an interesting person and for awhile she and i hung out -- nothing ever happened there -- nor would it, she was married, but it was an odd connection that at some point i need to explore more in my writing...
okay enough
namaste
I'd already done a morning session and rode my bike so i used this evening as a restorative class.
i focused on breathing and relaxing -- i had a busy day -- submitting two short stories to my editor -- the stories are going to West Magazine -- which is overseen by Amy Tan -- so it's a pretty big deal for me to get these right...
anyway -- class this evening was good
the instructor has come along way from the first classes she taught over a year ago -- she's an interesting person and for awhile she and i hung out -- nothing ever happened there -- nor would it, she was married, but it was an odd connection that at some point i need to explore more in my writing...
okay enough
namaste
Yoga and the bicycle
I rode to yoga class today instead of taking my car.
It's a great warm up, and it's a nice way to wind down on the way back. I circle by the beach and take in the sea air.
Whenever I'm on my bike, I feel like a kid again, the way I was, when the bike was my only mode of transportation.
They say yoga can recapture that youthful spirit, in conjunction with other activities, it's even more powerful. This morning i could have sworn it was 1968...
It's a great warm up, and it's a nice way to wind down on the way back. I circle by the beach and take in the sea air.
Whenever I'm on my bike, I feel like a kid again, the way I was, when the bike was my only mode of transportation.
They say yoga can recapture that youthful spirit, in conjunction with other activities, it's even more powerful. This morning i could have sworn it was 1968...
Sunday, July 09, 2006
the good and bad of sundays
I take a variety of classes from different instructors. They're all good and i like the change.
Sunday is my earliest class -- 9:30
I prefer 10:45 because that gives me a few hours of writing before I go -- typically i do nothing but read the paper before the sunday class.
Sundays usually has the most men, and i like that. not that i have anything against being the only guy in a class, which is typical during the week, but there's something about the mixed energy that works for me.
the male/female -- balance -- ying/yang is interesting for lots of reasons...
I wrote about this in my new novel -- most guys assumed i was either gay or trying to hit up on chicks, when they saw me with my yoga mat.
i've taken classes for well over two years now and I've never hit upon anyone in class -- in my book, Chuck has taken the same position on the matter, and one of his friends tells him that this is his fundamental problem
he says -- chuck could stand in a brothel with a hundred-dollar bill plastered to his forehead and he'd still not get laid...
Yoga Journal this month has in big letters on the cover -- Sex and Yoga...
Please -- crass-comercialism --
but i still enjoy reading magazine even though most of it's written for a female audience.
and that's the view this sunday in early July...
Sunday is my earliest class -- 9:30
I prefer 10:45 because that gives me a few hours of writing before I go -- typically i do nothing but read the paper before the sunday class.
Sundays usually has the most men, and i like that. not that i have anything against being the only guy in a class, which is typical during the week, but there's something about the mixed energy that works for me.
the male/female -- balance -- ying/yang is interesting for lots of reasons...
I wrote about this in my new novel -- most guys assumed i was either gay or trying to hit up on chicks, when they saw me with my yoga mat.
i've taken classes for well over two years now and I've never hit upon anyone in class -- in my book, Chuck has taken the same position on the matter, and one of his friends tells him that this is his fundamental problem
he says -- chuck could stand in a brothel with a hundred-dollar bill plastered to his forehead and he'd still not get laid...
Yoga Journal this month has in big letters on the cover -- Sex and Yoga...
Please -- crass-comercialism --
but i still enjoy reading magazine even though most of it's written for a female audience.
and that's the view this sunday in early July...
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Why I'm Doing This
I'm about to go on the road for six weeks and I'm afraid that I won't get on the mat.
The commitment to write about what happens there is another way I can get myself to it.
Often I find that to be the hardest part of my practice, but once I'm there, I'm there.
I take five to six classes a week, sometimes I take two in a day, and I've been doing this for almost three years now.
I'm amazed that I stuck at it because I went into to it with mixed motivations, not all as pure as I'd care to admit. I've written about it in my new novel, and I'll talk more about that when appropriate.
For the moment, it's about the me on the mat and tomorrow I'm shooting for the 9:30 class at my local yoga center.
rsw
The commitment to write about what happens there is another way I can get myself to it.
Often I find that to be the hardest part of my practice, but once I'm there, I'm there.
I take five to six classes a week, sometimes I take two in a day, and I've been doing this for almost three years now.
I'm amazed that I stuck at it because I went into to it with mixed motivations, not all as pure as I'd care to admit. I've written about it in my new novel, and I'll talk more about that when appropriate.
For the moment, it's about the me on the mat and tomorrow I'm shooting for the 9:30 class at my local yoga center.
rsw
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