Competition brings out the best and worst in me...

I've returned to playing squash competitively.

I'm on a ladder at the club where I do yoga. At one point I was one of the top ten players in the area. I was injured and have only just returned to action. I'm working my way back up. I normally played in the first and second groups. I started this year in group four and killed everyone. The same is happening this month in group three.

I'm trying to not squash folks in this bracket. Most of these players don't have good technique, but some are fit and try to make up for it by running wild about the court and hitting the ball as hard as possible. I try to keep it in play so that the game doesn't end too fast.

Today a young man beat me in the first game 9-6. He chased everything down. He hit very hard. I didn't want to push myself early. I was learning his game and would make adjustments so that I could win but not expose myself to his wide swing (lots of folks get hit hard by wide swingers).

As we were about to start the 2nd game he said, "I was told to be scared of you. I thought it would be great just to get a few points. Now that I've taken one game off you, I want more."

There was a glint in his eyes, and he was licking his chops.

I was taken back by the comment. I forgot about how competitive it can get on the ladder.

I started to steam and proceeded to pound him 9-1. I took the next one 9-2.

In the fourth I let up. To his credit he kept fighting, but also, he was cursing every time he made a bad shot. He threw his racket several times too. He was having trouble because I was controlling the points and forcing him into errors.

I just wanted the match to end so I could get off the court and go into yoga. His vibe really bummed me out.

I'm thinking about dropping off the ladder now. But maybe I need to confront this head on. Part of what disturb me today was the fact that his actions affected me so. I was angry at his comments. I should have just let it all flow through me.

I didn't play my best squash today. I let someone drag me down to their level and that's never a good idea. I wonder how yoga can help...